In the first ten minutes of The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask you lose your best friend, get stranded in a strange realm, you’re turned into a monster and you find out that you only have three days to live. Heavy, man.Thus begins (in my opinion) the greatest modern era Zelda adventure.

Majora’s Mask, as you may have guessed, is kind of a bleak game. Okay, it’s a complete and total bummer. All is not lost, however, as you soon discover (hopefully before sunset of the 3rd day) that Link has gained the ability to go back and relive those same 72 hours over and over again- that is, until he can get things right and prevent the apocalypse.

Majora’s Mask is uncharacteristically dark for a Nintendo developed title, especially a title in one of their cornerstone franchises. It’s not even the plot that is the most soul crushing aspect of the game, although it certainly doesn’t do it any favours. What transforms Majora’s Mask from a bummer to a carnival of sorrow is not even the consistent threat of immanent destruction at the end of the 3rd day, the real heaviness comes with being forced to relive the same 72 hours over and over. Interacting with the same NPCs cycle after cycle becomes downright depressing; listening to tales of missing children and lost artifacts. Even after you’ve gone out of your way to right the towns peoples wrongs, with every game save you are thrust back to sunrise of the first day, with all of your do-gooding wiped from existence. Sure the rewards granted by completing such quests remain, but save after save you must live with the fact that the old lady from the bomb store still gets robbed at the same time, at the same place, by the same thief… and you only have so much time.

To try and correct every wrong is a single three day cycle would be impossible, so you are left to do the good deed, get your reward, and refocus your energy into another problem, all the while knowing with clairvoyant-like certainty about all the bad things.

Bummer.

Chrono Trigger is a video game that requires no introduction. Universally acclaimed for its visual beauty, strong narrative, and revolutionary design, Chrono Trigger still sits high on the list of the most revered and respected Japanese role playing games ever created.

While it did not cause quite the same cultural watershed as Final Fantasy VII when it erupted onto the PlayStation a few years later, Chrono Trigger none-the-less represents a definite high point in video game design. The scope of Chrono Trigger and the presence of the mature themes within the narrative most certainly had a hand in shaping the development of the Final Fantasy VII juggernaut.

A key difference between Chrono Trigger and many of Square’s own games that followed it is most apparent in the tone of the game. Chrono Trigger comes across as light hearted and bubbly on the surface, thanks in part to Akira Toriyama’s colourful character designs. Punctuated throughout, however, are moments of true heart-wrenching drama; a mother mentally scarred and left crippled by a terrible accident, a friend both shamed and cursed with a failed sense of duty, the death and (totally optional) revival of a main character.

Why exactly does Chrono Trigger so frequently appear in the company of the greatest video games ever made, even 17 years after its initial release? How has such a sucessful franchise been built on the strength of a single game and its one non-continuous sequel? Why is Chrono Trigger so beloved? The answer to these questions is difficult to nail down.

The development of Chrono Trigger began in 1992, three years before its eventual Japanese release. Hironobu Sakaguchi, visionary creator of the Final Fantasy series, Yuji Hori, mastermind behind the Dragon Quest games and Akira Toriyama, creator and illustrator of the Dragon Ball manga joined forces for the precise purpose of creating a game unlike anything ever released.

Unlike so many other games that are retroactively considered masterpieces, Chrono Trigger has consistently been praised as a masterpiece from the day of its release, and initially received critical acclaim and achieved high sales; all but insuring it would be remembered as the legendary and landmark achievement it was.

Chrono Trigger is best described as a masterpiece of cohesion; a myriad of elements that work so well together that it elevates the experience beyond your expectations. The sprite work, some of the finest in console gaming, brings depth and beauty to the highly refined combat mechanics. The unbelievably atmospheric and rousing score compliments the volatile, emotional and decidedly non-melodramatic story.

All the individual parts of the game are so refined and polished, their relationship to each other so meticulously crafted, that the sum of their parts truly becomes greater then the whole. In crafting Chrono Trigger, the creators were able to cast off the same-old tropes of the console RPG and transcend the medium, placing it far above and beyond its contemporaries.

Multiple endings, worthwhile side quests with emotional and thematic consequences, unrivalled character development, and endlessly satisfying battle mechanics; so much of Chrono Trigger is perfectly executed that perhaps the more constructive exercise is not to examine why Chrono Trigger is so great, but instead ask why more video games don’t strive for the same level of greatness.

There has been surge of fantastic Zelda II content on the internet as of late; Jeremy Parish’s complete and thorough analysis of Zelda II’s overall design (for better and for worse) over at Telebunny.net has been a consistently delightful read. Over at RetrowareTV.com Ben Hall (Video Game Take Out) is currently documenting his latest play-through of the game, which focuses not-so-much on the specific minutia of the game design itself, but is rather building toward a more in-depth personal critique.

When it comes to Zelda II it seems there is very little middle-ground when it comes to opinions on the game. Not very often do you hear someone say that the game is just “okay”… feelings toward the game tend to land in either the “hate” category, or the “love” category.  Some see the game as a brave step forward and an important watershed title in the maturity of the action RPG genre; a mix of ideas and concepts that would remain unpolished until the release of Ocarina of Time some 11 years later. On the other side of the coin (or rupee, as it were) you have the camp that sees Zelda II as nothing more then a misstep in the long and storied Zelda franchise; a failed experiment and little more then a mash-up of ideas far too ambitious to be properly executed.

I fall firmly into the second camp. I just do not like Zelda II very much at all. I’ve played it, and beaten it… but it did little else but frustrate and annoy me. You may assume my current distaste for Zelda II has something to do with the fact that I am now an adult- an adult who lacks the patience to buckle down and really get into the guts of the game. That does indeed sound like a plausible explanation…  save for the fact that I have never really liked Zelda II, even when I played it for the first time in 1990.

I remember honestly feeling kind of cheated by the game. Mega Man 2 was a huge improvement over Mega Man, but it improved on the formula without betraying it outright. By attempting to create a new, bold and experimental type of video game, the designers of Zelda II betrayed, and somewhat disrespected the integrity of the original. I am not saying that they should have copied the first game verbatim, but there was room to finely tune it; perhaps improve the graphics or even add in some of the RPG elements while at the same time keeping whole the basic style of the first game.

Its pretty difficult to analyze the second game in hindsight, because it was one of only two games in the series at the time I first played it. With only one single game as a precedent, it’s much easier to look back and scream “what the hell were they thinking?!” simply because there have been so many games that have refined the basic design of the original , such as A Link to the Past, Link’s Awakening, and Minish Cap. Still, I feel that Nintendo got it all wrong with Zelda II. You can praise Nintendo for implementing some innovative mechanics, their creative design and for greatly expanding the scope of the first game, but if it is not executed properly, and Zelda II certainly is not, it all falls apart. My beef with Zelda II is  that they didn’t design the game tightly enough, and certainly not with the refinement and focus of first Zelda.

The groundbreaking and ambitious game play constructs within Zelda II are consistently marred and ultimately overshadowed by bizarre and unforgiving game design, a high level of difficulty and a frustrating lack of overall consistency. So many times as a kid I played up to the second or third palace, eventually growing frustrated to the point of alienation. I would usually then pop the Legend of Zelda back in to my NES and dream of the day that Nintendo would get it right, and forget all about Link and his sloppy, frustrating adventure.

Riviera: The Promised Land (GBA) – Another hard fought entry into my Game Boy Advance CIB RPG collection, I am pretty stoked to give this game a whirl. Interestingly, this same game was slightly remixed and later released for the PSP. I have heard nothing but good things. I got this game for an absolute steal. I just happened to see it on eBay a few minutes after it was listed for BIN of $20! These routinely are listed for between $50 and $70 complete. There is some sticker residue on the box, but it is nothing I won’t be able to remove when I get the chance. Awesome, awesome deal.

Knights of the Round (SNES) – This is another game I have been lusting after and finally found locally for a fair price. A local secondhand shop had a sudden influx of fantastic SNES titles, most of which I already had, but this little gem was among them. I traded some extra stuff in and ended up paying about $8 cash for this in total. This is one of the premier-yet-overlooked beat ‘em ups on the SNES. Now, I am not sure if I just suck at this game, but I am finding it to be very difficult even on the easiest setting. Frustration not withstanding, its a really great videogame.

Super Ninja Boy (SNES) – I got this game based solely on the recommendation of one of my favourite video game writers, Ray Barnhold. I don’t know all that much about it, except for that it is an action RPG of sorts, and I got it for $10 bucks on eBay. Oddly enough this showed up in the flood of SNES games at the secondhand store I mentioned above with a robust $30 price tag.

Bust-A-Move (SNES) – What can I say? I am not a huge puzzle game fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I love me some Bust-A-Move. Until very recently I had no idea that a Super Nintendo port even existed. Needless to say after I found out I got it almost immediately. It is the perfect game to just pop-in and play for 15 minutes.

Addams Family Values (SNES) – Based on the movie of the same name, Addams Family Values is a fantastic little action RPG that some-what resembles the much maligned (but not as bad as you have heard) NES game Fester’s Quest, although with the edition of some Zelda-esque refinements it is a much better game. You once again control Uncle Fester on a quest to have save the kidnapped Addams baby Pubert. You can get this game on the cheap and it is totally worth a play-through.  A true hidden SNES gem.

Play Catch Up! Go to the Final Fantasy: A Dissection Launch Page for links to previous articles!

You have your silver swords. You have the best armour. You are well stocked on PUREs. Now its time for your first real challenge in the game thus far; the first honest -to-goodness dungeon- although it’s not a dungeon at all!

The Marsh Cave is, thanks to the humourlessly literal naming conventions of old video games, exactly that; a cave in a marsh. A better name would perhaps be the Marsh Ruins, as the cave is actually an entrance to a vast network of man-made hallways and rooms. Long abandoned, the Marsh Cave is also home to a whole host of enemies as of yet unseen. In additional to an army of undead fiends, the Marsh Cave is also litered with swarms of enemies that have the unfriendly ability to poison members of your party, which is all-but a death sentence should you not have a healthy supply of PUREs on hand. You also run across the proto-type for an oft reoccurring Final Fantasy foe, the Flan. Here  they are known as Scum (and later in the game they appear pallet swapped as Mucks), and as with their sticky descendants even the most powerfully physical attacks do little damage. Magic is the only way to deal with the Scums, but a better strategy altogether is to run away from them (and every other enemy for that matter) and conserve your precious magic charges for the lower levels of the Marsh Cave.

The Marsh Cave is a difficult dungeon for a few reasons, but it also plays an integral role in preparing us for what lies ahead. In order to survive the Marsh Cave you need to be properly prepared and outfitted, the first time where your level of preparation has a direct correlation between success and crushing defeat. Garland and the pirate gang could both be accomplished without much pre-thought, as long as you are not hopelessly oblivious. The Marsh Cave represents a large step forward that serves to highlight the care with which all future excursions must be handled. Often times this results in a scouting missions, where-in your goal is not to charge forward and finish the dungeon, but rather a mission of reconnaissance; to get a feel for the enemy types and what they have to throw at you. Do you need to stock up on SOFTs to counteract stone? Or do you need a ton of PUREs to deal with venomous foes? Often times, especially in the early part of the game the amount of GOLD you will have to throw around will be in short supply, so planning for every hazard by completely stocking up on items is not entirely realistic. You must pick and choose, and its certainly best to make informed decisions.

The Marsh Cave should not be overly difficult if you play carefully and have a stock of HEALs and PUREs ready to go. Alas, preparation cannot completely ensure victory. The true bitch of the Marsh Cave, and a brutally unfair gameplay mechanic we will see again later on, comes in the form of the instant kill. For whatever reason, the designers on the Square A-Team included a feature in a select few monsters giving them the ability to instant kill one of your party members. The monster hits you and instead of registered a HP value to be deducted from that characters total, the message box simply reads “Slain…” and the character dies. It can happen to you weakest party member while they are hanging on for dear life, or it can also happen to your strongest party member at full health. These monsters are a bitch, to say the least, because regardless of who much you grind or how well stocked you are with armour and items, the sheer unpredictability of these monsters can make things go pear shaped fast- and wouldn’t you know it, a randomly sized party (2-4) of a Wizards, monsters who possess this instant kill ability, just happen to be guarding the chest containing the CROWN, deep in the bowels of the Marsh Cave.

After what will no doubt be a tense and potentially heartbreaking battle, make sure you open the chest and grab the CROWN before moving away from the chest, as stepping on the tile in front of the chest will trigger a battle with a party of Wizards every single time. I intimately know the anguish of making it through the Wizard battle intact, only to step off the tile by accident and having to face the Wizards a second time. Not cool.

With a little luck and a ton of preparation, we can now put the Marsh Cave behind us and finish putting right what the mysterious Astos has made wrong.

Next time we resolve the mystery of the Witch, the Prince, and the King and finally get out into the open ocean!

5. Final Fantasy V (Super Famicom/Super Nintendo)

Renown as an understated masterpiece, the lack of a strong villain and absence of an English-language release keeps this title off of most gamers radars. The game that mastered the job system introduced in Famicom’s Final Fantasy III, V is a surprisingly tight game with plenty to offer fans of the series. Sandwiched in between the grandiose IV and indulgent VI, V made up for its lack of a memorable story with a pretty high level of difficulty.

4. Final Fantasy IV (Super Famicom/Super Nintendo)

The sheer length of Cecil’s quest alone is enough to make it tip the later side of this list, not to mention that fact that so many support characters you come to rely on for saving your butt have a knack for being suddenly killed. The game’s final twist is one of the greatest moments in the franchise, but they make you practically sweat blood to see it. The most obscene part of Final Fantasy IV is that we got the version released as “Final Fantasy IV: Easy Type” in Japan. How much harder could it be?

3. Final Fantasy XIII (PS3/360)

I was actually genuinely surprised at the level of difficulty in XIII. The fact that you regain full health after each battle and are given the option to retry any battle (bosses included), both mid-fight and after dying, were not added as a luxury, but out of necessity. Anyone who says Final Fantasy XIII wasn’t that hard never made it Chapter 12 or the final road to Orphan. Overall, the game has many flaws, but the battle system is brilliant, and failing to master it completely can result in hitting a wall in chapter 12.

2. Final Fantasy I (Famicom/Nintendo)

The definition of unforgiving, the original Final Fantasy game was no walk in the park. With a slow leveling system and unbalanced characters, any party save for 4 fighters is designed to put you at a distinct disadvantage. Extremely limited magic charges (rather then the MP system seen in subsequent games), an almost complete lack of armour for weaker classes, and a staggeringly high encounter rate all gel together and make completing part I a triumph of will and determination. I still love this game, but goddamn!

1. Final Fantasy III (Famicom)

Part III is what happens when you take the original game, double the difficulty, triple the length, and quadruple the world size. The job system and the chocobo (as an item saving system) both make there first appearance in the series, but the addition of of these luxuries do little to cull the difficulty. Where as the original game was so difficult partially due to balancing issues and primitive game design, III is intentionally hard with hours between save points and massively powerful enemies and bosses. Not many games can shoulder this level of difficulty and still be considered classics- which is a testament to just how good this game is. That being said. this is a hard RPG… probably the hardest 8 or 16 bit console RPG ever made.

It is a fairly well known fact that movie/TV show based video games are almost exclusively garbage. Rarely did a blockbuster movie, or hit TV show have a videogame counterpart that could match the quality (such as is was) or popularity of the source material.

Due mainly to the popularity of the console and the formative era in which it was released, the movie/TV show videogame came to prominence on the Nintendo Entertainment System- for better, and for worse.

Genuine stinkers such as Hunt for the Red October, Total Recall, Platoon, and Terminator gave this genre a bad name at the time, and their lasting reputation has all but turned the genre toxic in the years since. Without question, some of the worst videogames ever made have been based on a successful media property, churned out by bargain basement developers and greedily released by publishers for the expressed purpose of making an easy buck.

Unfortunately, things certainly have not improved as far as movie/TV show based videogames go. At their best, they are sufficient time wasters clogging supermarket bargain bins. At worst they are broken, ugly experiences that suck precious credibility out of a medium so desperate for artistic recognition.

However, there are some diamonds in this trash heap. Among the dregs of the genre a few choice titles exist that do just the opposite of degrading their medium; they showcase creativity and ingenuity that drives it forward.

Batman for the Nintendo Entertainment System was developed by Sunsoft, who had an amazing streak of videogame wins in the early 90s. Their golden touch with licensed properties shines no more brightly then in their adaptation of Tim Burton’s highly stylized 1989 film.

Taking the dark, gritty, and grotesque art deco style straight from the film’s superb art direction and translating it brilliantly to the NES, Sunsoft managed marry gorgeous 8-bit visuals with a highly playable and expertly balanced core.

Basically following the movies plot (with a few diversion here and there), you play as the dark knight himself, busting up bad guys in the streets of Gotham City. Although you can use your fists freely at anytime, you also collect powerups which act as ammo for your sub weapons, all of which are available from the start of any stage. These sub weapons include a tri-firing projectile,  the batarang, and a short range spear weapon.  Mastery of these unique and radically different sub weapons is paramount in making it to the end of the game.

The chief gameplay mechanic, however, is the wall jump. The levels are designed around this ability, with huge sprawling stages that demand you master the Batman’s more acrobatic abilities. Batman contains some of the best 8-bit level design seen outside of a Mega Man game, and in a refreshing design choice (all though not so uncommon at the time), Batman is a very challenging game.

Beyond the excellent game design, Batman features some of the greatest 8-bit music ever composed and the story in not wrought from the manual, like so many other NES games, but rather told in-between levels with superbly crafted cut scenes.

Few licensed-based videogames in the history of the medium as successfully combine the visual style and narrative themes of the source material with honest-to-goodness rock-solid game design and layer-upon-layer of quality slices stuck together with such superb vision.

Play Catch Up! Go to the Final Fantasy: A Dissection Launch Page for links to previous articles!

With our newly acquired sailing ship we now have the breadth of the open sea to explore- a whole new world of adventure has opened up before our eyes and the vast sea is ours to conquer! Or it soon will be, anyway. For now we are trapped in a small section of the ocean completely surrounded by land, denying us access to the ocean proper. We have the choice of 5 sea ports at which to dock; three of which are situated at destinations we have already visited (Cornelia, Matoya’s Cave, and Pravoka), leaving two new areas only accessible by seaport.

Before moving forward, I must provide a bit of a roadmap for the next 2 hours (or so) of gameplay. Our ultimate goal is to head into the Marsh Cave, a stinking hole in the ground in the South-West corner of the map (as we know it). This is the first real challenge in Final Fantasy, and the the first of many points where we see a substantial spike in difficulty. Not to worry! The Marsh Cave is much less daunting if you go in properly prepared, and that’s precisely what we intend to do.

The key to conquering the Marsh Cave lies in the next town, accessible only by ship. Elfland is directly south of Cornelia, and making the journey from the seaport to the town you will notice a marked spike in the difficulty of the random encounters in this area. You’ll mostly run into Creeps, Ogres, Asps and Arachnids. Head straight to Elfland and save at the Inn. A point of interest in this new town is the graveyard in the north-east area of town, where a grave marker can be checked revealing a direct jab at (then) then Enix’s Dragon Quest series.

From chatting with the town folk and wandering about the adjoining castle you learn that the Elf Prince is under some sort of a spell which has effectively rendered him comatose. To break this curse we must go north west to the- uh, North West Castle and talk to a diposed king there. It seems a dark elf wizard named Astos has been making life a living hell for everyone; stealing Matoya’s crystal ball, cursing the Elf prince, and stealing the king of North West Castle’s crown. The North West King promises to aid us if we retrieve his stolen crown, which has been hidden by Astos in the Marsh Cave to the south.

With the story absorbed and your game safely stowed away in the warm blanket that is the on-board battery, we begin prepping for the next leg of adventure. It is highly advisable to purchase 5-10 PUREs from the item shop. There are a few common enemies you’ll run into in the next bit of grinding that can poison you, and at this stage in the game you don’t have the HP to burn trudging back to the nearest town, so PUREs are a must have.  Also of note here in Elfland is the level 4 black magic spell FAST which will soon become invaluable; when cast on a party member it adds multiple hits to the targets attack, easily quadrupling the damage done. It is probably a little pricey now, but your are going to want to get it soon-ish anyway.

Now that you are rested and stocked up, let the grind begin! At first, I would stay close to Elfland, just incase you end up getting your ass handed to you but an unexpected encounter with a couple Ogres. I would mostly try and stay where you are running into a lot of the Ogre/Creep combination because they dole out descent experience and an above average amount of gold. The end goal here is to not only raise your party by a level or three, but also to save up for the Silver Sword (available in Elfland). The Silver Sword has a pretty extravagant price tag (4000 G, ouch!) but believe me, brother… its worth every penny. The Silver Sword can be equipped by only the Fighter and the Red Mage, but it is the Fighter who can really make this bitch sing. If you have two Fighters and you outfit them each with a silver sword  the next several hours of this game will be- dare I say- a breeze. However, there is one slight obstacle ; the highest you are earning per battle at this point is 190G, and that’s if you’re lucky. 4000G is a huge mountain to climb.

If the prospect of grinding gold for an hour and a half doesn’t sound like your idea of fun, there are a few tricks to get you up to that total quickly and efficiently  If you didn’t blow your money on the useless magic in Provoka (ICE excluded), then you should have close to 1000G banked. To make another quick 900G, head up to the Dwarf cave. It’s located west of Cornelia (the starting town) and is only accessible by an otherwise pointless port. Within the Dwarf Cave you learn some interesting bits from the Dwarves, including the fact that with some TNT they could blast a passage allowing access to the ocean beyond. Other than that you’ll find locked doors, a master swordsmith craving a particular type of metal, and two chests containing approximately 900G total.

Now that you have a nice, solid financial foundation, its time to exploit a money making trick that has been a family secret for 20 years. It was originally taught to me by my cousin Neil, and we still use it to this day whenever we play through this game. There is an enemy called the Kyzoku that you can find while on the ship. The Kyzoku is special because for each one you kill, you net 120G, which itself is quite a bit of money at this point in the game- not to mention that they come is groups of 2-5, so you can make a fair chunk of change pretty quickly. The only downside is that they do not show up nearly as often as other sea-fairing creatures.

There is a trick, however, that guarantees you will fight a group of Kyzokus with each and every encounter, greatly expediting up the process of gold gathering. Here’s the trick: First, go to Cornelia (the starting town) and sleep at the inn. Shut your Nintendo off (don’t forget to hold reset!!). Turn the Nintendo back on. Leave Cornelia and head straight south to the ship and continue south once you are on the ocean. You will get into a fight with a group of Kyzokus. Once you defeat them and collect your bounty, head back to Cornelia and repeat the process. The trick only works if you turn the Nintendo completely off and then on again each time you save at the inn. The first fight on the water will ALWAYS be a Kyzoku group. Tedious? Perhaps, but it’s a far faster way of gathering gold over traditional grinding, and Kyzokus also give a fairly descent amount of experience points (60 per enemy), which always helps.

Once you are outfitted with the best armour Elfland can offer (including rings for the black and white mages) and you have your Silver Swords in tow, we can head off to the first proper dungeon in Final Fantasy, and with it the first real challenge.

Next week, we storm the Marsh Cave.

The title above may be a bit a misnomer, because the original $12,000 goal set by the Retronauts Kickstarter was met a mere 3 hours after if was started- but just because we have extended the life of Retronauts already, why not go the extra mile and make Retronauts more then just a podcast?

If you are in the dark about Retronauts, well then brother let me bring the light! Retronauts was the retro video game podcast of 1up.com. Helmed from 2006-2011 by Jeremy Parish and the from 2011-2013 by Bob Mackey, Retronauts was more then just another podcast. Over its run Retronauts not only served to inform and educate the masses about old videogames, but was also among the first outlets on the web to really treat old videogames as something historically relevant and important, far beyond the more mainstream classification of jokey antiquities and nostalgic bits of silliness. By examining the minutia of everything from game design to game music with wit, dignity and sincerity, Retronauts helped expose the importance that older games hold in the evolution of the medium as a whole and were a driving force in bringing that way of thinking into mainstream consciousness.

After parent company Ziff-Davis abruptly shuttered 1up.com’s doors in February of this year, the future of many of the sites writers, contributors and podcasts were uncertain. This announcement had many people frantically downloading episodes of Retronauts (myself included) hoping to archive the entire catalogue, fearing that the hosting server could be wiped at any second.

Thanks to Kickstarter, however, we will now get more Retronauts… but exactly how much more we get is up to us.

The new stretch goals announced Saturday night include some really great stuff such as convention panels, a Retronauts website, a new theme song, off-week mini episodes, and a multiple year commitment to more Retronauts podcasts- all of this provided the stretch goals are met. As of posting they have already been pledged more then $33,000, cementing mini-sodes, a new theme song and right on the door step of a promise of greatly expanded video content via the Retronauts YouTube page.

Please, go to their Kickstarter page now and give Bob Mackey, Jeremy Parish and Ray Barnholt a few bucks. We already have a years worth of podcasts and mini episodes to look forward to… lets make sure that we give these guys all the ammunition that need so they can continue putting out the best retro videogame content on the web and giving little retro video game sites like this one something to aspire to.

Retronauts Kickerstarter is here, which is also where I snatched the images from.

Retronauts official website is here.

Play Catch Up! Go to the Final Fantasy: A Dissection Launch Page for links to previous articles!

Now that we actually have a bridge to cross, let’s cross it! At this point you can do one of two things; you can head north, to Matoya’s cave, or east, to the town of Pravoka. Really, it doesn’t matter which route you go, but I will say that Matoya’s cave yields just a few minor items and zero story progression, and Pravoka is where you get the first of three vehicles in the game, the sailing ship. However the good people in Cornelia seem to think that Matoya’s Cave is the place to find some hard truths, so we’ll go there. The road to Matoya’s cave is relatively uneventful with a few new enemies thrown into the mxi such as GrImps, Creeps, GrWolfs, and  Iguanas. You may also bump into MadPonies, which you should be able to handle by this point. The thing to be on the lookout for though is a stray Ogre, which has the power to murder you to death. I would avoid these at all costs, unless you have been fastidiously level grinding, in which case you may well be able to take one of these bastards down.

Looting Matoya’s Cave yields two HEALs and a PURE and little else. Talking to Matoya, you discover someone stole her crystal ball and now she can’t see. Blah blah blah our work here is done- let’s go get the sailing ship already!

After battling your way east you come to Provoka, a picturesque town steeped in seaside harmony. However, after chatting up the locals, you learn the town has been overrun with a band of pirate scumbags. You can find the said scumbags, represented by their leader Bikke’s sprite, up in the top left quadrant of town. Talk to Bikke and prepare to kill some pirates. This fight is pretty easy, and even though there are 9 pirates they only have 6 HP a piece. Even your mages should be able to one-shot kill them most of the time. Mow down these landlubbers and speak to Bikke again for an apology and to muscle his ship away from him. Maritime justice, shit head.

Before leaving Provoka make sure you stock up the Fighters with Iron armour and get gloves for everyone, as even the mages can equip them and it adds a much needed 1 point to your defence. It’s also a good idea to get ICE for your Black/Red mage. The spells here, for the most part, will be a little out of your price range right now, and if you do have extra gold at this point- save it; it can be put to MUCH better use at our next stop. To be frank, the spells available in Pravoka, save for ICE, are not worth the price tag this early in the game. In fact, the Black magic spell TMPR (Temper) which is suppose to strengthen your weapons and presumably increase your attack, actually does nothing due to a glitch in the game code.

If you haven’t started taking the time to level up and amass gold before now, prepare to enter full on grind mode! Next time we grind like bastards, get some rad new swords and head to a cave featuring some dick head enemies.